


Drive

by ArcticWolvesInLove



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: But not complety canon, College Student Stiles, Derek Hale is Bad at Feelings, Everyone Is Alive, Future Fic, Idiots in Love, Oblivious Derek Hale, Pining Derek Hale, Post-Canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-01
Updated: 2018-04-01
Packaged: 2019-04-16 17:33:55
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,664
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14169999
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ArcticWolvesInLove/pseuds/ArcticWolvesInLove
Summary: Derek left California, left everything he felt, but when Stiles sends him a drunken video via his email, he just may have to go back.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Whoops? Sorry? I don't know where this came from but enjoy?

Derek is forty one hours, nine states, and a whole lifetime away when he gets the messages. It's not anyone's fault really, he doesn't keep a cellphone because he figures no one really needs him anyhow, and Cora...well she doesn't want much to do with him. She did set up the email though, and gave it to Scott's pack, but Derek never really thinks to check it so he can't imagine why anyone would actually  _email_ him. Let alone Stiles. Fourteen times.

He isn't really sure what makes him check, what urge sent him to a public library in Norfolk and hidden somewhere in the back but he does and there is Stiles, or S.S.Hotteetottee@yahoo.com. He doesn't groan internally at the name alone but he does open the first message, which is short, unemotional and so unlike Stiles he almost questions if it's really him.

_I won't bother you anymore, wherever you've found home._

It doesn't make any sense and he clicks to the next email - _Just let me know you're okay, Scott is worried, I'm worried Derek. I know we were just the kids you got stuck with and my emails are... but come on man._

He's tempted to go to the next but figures he should start at the beginning, only it isn't a message, it's a video and Derek makes the absolutely stupid decision to watch it right then and there.

"Heeeeeeey Der-rek!" The camera is zoomed in close, a flash of Stiles hair, a glimpse of his neck and his moles. "Buddy! O'pal! I am very much not sober!"  
"He's totally wasted and I'm not responsible for this-" Scott's voice cuts through and then the video zooms out quickly and Stiles is flailing in an attempt to shove his best friend away. "I told him he'll regret this but I can't stop him," he's lying, Scott could absolutely stop Stiles but he's clearly enjoying it. Stiles rolls his eyes, gets the camera at a slightly better angle and then grins, his eyelids are heavy and his head keeps bobbing around.

"I miss you! You've been gone for forever!" He whines and leans in real close, Derek is little confused by his sudden interest but all the more perplexed especially when his eyes light up from the light of wherever he is. "I know I um, oh boy I feel sick, Scott! Hold my hair!"

Derek honestly has to wonder what he ever saw in the guy, at first he just thought he was an annoying little bastard but then he was brilliant and then... oh then he was beautiful and Derek, well Derek ached.

"I really wish you were here, I'd crawl in your lap and do every-"  
"Okay buddy! I said funny, ha ha, you're approaching some very regretful word choice, have a nice night Derek!" Scott pops in the frame again, wrestles the camera or likely phone away and the whole thing is a blur and Stiles' protests can be heard until the video abruptly cuts out. Derek doesn't hesitate to go to the message that follows immediately after.

_So um, apparently Scott let me send that video or I did once he was away, idk but if you haven't watched it yet, could you just delete it?_

Obviously Derek didn't reply and Stiles next email comes the following day.

_Heeeeey Derek, are you mad? You're mad aren't you? Look, you're a werewolf, you had to have smelled it on me, how I felt whenever you were around so can we not do this whole, ignore me thing and just say straight out that I'm an idiot and my best friend is an instigator when I'm drunk?_

The next one says it was hours after.

_Derek, seriously, at least tell me to fuck off? This thing where my anxiety is waiting for you to say or do anything is not cool man. Not cool! I'd have boned anyone that night, I was so drunk! You aren't special!_

Derek knows his eyebrows are doing The Thing, Stiles trademark explaination for when he was really fucking confused but apparently scowling about it. The video hardly said anything and Stiles is acting, or was acting, as though he'd let out some big confession. True, Derek could figure where his drunken rant was going but drunk people said dumb stuff, Derek might never have experienced it but he'd seen enough drunks to understand by now. If he's honest, had he seen the video when it'd been sent, he'd have answered a long time ago because.... because it was  _Stiles_ and it was the very thought he used to cut off in his own mind back when he'd last seen the guy. Now though? The video was a year old and Derek didn't let himself drag up those feelings. He does however, open the next message, which came a week after the last.

_Okay fine you asshole, you're fucking special! I wouldn't have drunkenly made a video where I almost declared how much I want to bone YOU and probably would have told you many, many other things unless you were special. But you're still an asshole! If you had a cellphone like a normal person then I could have drunk text you and this WHOLE thing could be over but no, I have to EMAIL you! Reply back you selfish werewolf!_

Derek actually snickers at that, Stiles had angrily shouted about him being altruistic a dozen or more times, said he'd die trying to save everyone else. He knows Stiles is only angry in the email and he doesn't blame him, he's embarrassed and wants to be mollified but it's funny to imagine him going from "fuck you!" to "please stop" because it's completely Stiles, at least with anyone he really cares for.

_You aren't selfish._

The one after is literally minutes, probably but Derek isn't paying attention to the time stamps.

_I just... I need to know that even though we don't see you, that we're still cool? We're okay? Even if you are upset... Just tell me, please_

Derek hurts a little from that one, wishes he'd checked this stupid thing much sooner but he can't do anything about that. He can keep reading though, and the following message comes a month later.

_Hey man, it's been awhile since anyone talked to you and I kind of wanted to check in? I know you like solitude but even Isaac is asking._

Derek can't imagine that, Isaac had cut him off when Boyd and Erica did, they'd all joined Scott's pack and they were much better with him. He does feel the old tug from his alpha days though, he misses them, they were pack and if Scott's declarion to him being part of his is anything to go by then they still were. He wonders sometimes, if he's part of the pack only because of Stiles. Scott hadn't been his fan, and true Stiles hadn't at first either but he warmed up much sooner then Scott ever had. Derek refuses to relive that time though, he hadn't known what to expect but a skinny, defenseless human boy wasn't one of them and that boy had grown and changed and adapted to this world and Derek had... He'd been trying to grow up to and somehow, the pale skinned, mole splattered, doe eyed guy had wriggled right on into his heart and the werewolf never figured out how to remove him. It was part of the reason he'd left, part of the reason he'd disappeared and left no one with a way to find him.

He clicks on the next message.

_It's 3 AM, I just finished studying for my last exam, I have to be up at 9 AM and yet, I can't stop thinking about you. I've decided you don't even read my emails anyway (and by the way who even uses email anymore? Do you see my tag, that's because I made it when I was 12, 12 Derek! Get a phone!) Anyway, I need to get this out before my head implodes on information so... Here it goes..._  
_I fell in love with you when I was 17, yup all the way back then. I didn't like you, I hated that your deranged uncle bit my best friend and turned our lives upside down, hated how much of an asshole you were, hated that you just HAD to show up like you had to prove a point to Scott, make him think this life was the coolest shit and yet, you'd over look me like I was nobody. So I got in your face, I didn't care that you could kill me (well, I did but my ADHD said fuck that, taunt the born werewolf) and I made myself known. You changed though Derek, you lost people and then you found some and you changed, idk but you became so much more after losing the alpha power and I fucking fell for you. Did I know I was bi? Nope, not a fucking clue til you came along with your muscle and stubble and big ol' stupid caring werewolfie heart! And then it was like BOOM! Hello sexuality! Ugh but yeah, I fell in love but I knew that no matter how cool we were, I was still the annoying kid you met in the preserve and let's face it, you go for strong, feminine types. Braedon was a fucking badass, I won't count anyone else because honestly fuck them, I'd bury them. Just saying. Anyway! You leaving? Worst fucking day of my life, you'd almost DIED, I'd watched you bleeding and telling me to go and it broke my fucking heart but you were okay and then you LEFT! You came back later, like a long time later and I thought I was over you, thought I'd let the feelings go but no, no, no..._

Derek breathes, realizes he got through that much of it without a breath and wonders how he didn't know any of this, how Stiles could be telling him he's been in love for god, for 8 YEARS. Only, he isn't telling him, he told him, almost a year ago when the email was sent and Derek hadn't seen it, hadn't even know. Stiles anxiety must have been through the roof and Derek hates that because if he'd known, he might have went running back years ago, Braedon might never have been a thing because Stiles was Stiles and Derek loved him too.

_....Nothing has changed, nothing I felt anyway and if you must know? That's why Lydia and I didn't work, she said it was obvious that what I had for her had shifted and I needed to focus my attention elsewhere. She was right because she's always right and I used to fucking wish I'd stayed in love with her but no, it's you. It's you Derek and I'm screwed because I can't even get you to reply to a stupid email and I'm sitting on this shitty dorm bed while my failure of a roommate snores so loud the paint is peeling and I'm writing you, wishing I could actually say this to you instead. Wishing I'd had a chance to DO something about what I feel but I didn't. You're the strongest person I know, you have the biggest heart and I love you. I love you with every fiber of my being and you probably ruined every chance I had at a relationship while here but I don't care because no one was you. No one is ever you. I hope wherever you are is better then where we were, Beacon Hills did no good and you deserve better. Goodnight._

Derek stopped breathing again, to be honest he doesn't think he'll ever breathe again after that. This was a casual ramble of confessing feelings, Stiles made a declaration that Derek was it for him and Derek is an idiot. He's a complete and utter idiot who should have checked his email since it was his only source of communication, he's tempted to hit the reply button and tell Stiles everything that he's ever thought but he can't, it isn't fair and he needs to know, has to know, everything Stiles said.

_I passed my exams_ , is the start of the next reply, _I'll be a college graduate soon, maybe you can come? No pressure._

The next message is an invitation to the graduation ceremony, there's a seat number and Derek feels sick at the idea that Stiles might have stood hopeful with his classmates and looked for him, was likely crushed when Derek was nowhere within sight. He doesn't even want to read the next one, he knows the following one and the very last were just months ago but that next one, that one that followed the disappointment of Derek not being there, Derek isn't sure he can handle it.

He always did like to suffer though...

_Derek, I just want you to know it's okay, if you ever read these and think you owe me something, think you should feel bad for not coming to my graduation, you don't. You don't owe me and it's okay you weren't there. I'm moving back though, back to Beacon Hills-_

  
Derek doesn't hesitate, he's up and out of the library as fast as humanly possible and if he didnt have to worry he'd have ran his full speed and the world be damned. Stiles shouldn't be back in Beacon Hills, he should have moved on with his life, should have made a new life far away. Derek knows logically he'd be around, his father lives there, his best friend, the people important to him but Derek cannot stand the thought of him being there again, of him reliving all the nightmares he endured so long ago.

He's thankful he took his camaro this time around, that he can drive a little recklessly fast, he doesn't want to obey a single traffic law but does anyway because if he has to stop, he might have to wait longer to get to him. Stiles makes stupid choices but they're usually for other people, why he'd choose to go back Derek doesn't understand. For the first time, he wishes he had a phone, wishes he could call Scott or the Sheriff or even Chris Argent and ask why?

Of course Derek does have to stop, he can't drive forty one hours straight but he does manage twelve before stopping at a shitty motel off the highway. He does the same the following day and the day after before he's finally seeing California and the Beacon Hills sign and then he's stopping because he doesn't actually know where Stiles is and worse, he doesn't know what to say or how to say it. Derek goes to the loft, it's been cleaned and managed and has the faint hint of Stiles and his anxiety and that alone makes Derek warm inside. He'd given him and Scott a key, told them to let Cora in if she ever came around, asked they peek in occasionally.

His bed smells like dust though, like furniture left alone for to long when he sits down on it and the place just doesn't feel how it used to but he almost feels home. Almost.

He goes to the Sheriff's house the next day, John is there and he grins at Derek like he knows a secret and tells him that Stiles moved out a couple months back. He isn't far but he isn't there either and he's still in Beacon Hills either way. John asks if he would like Stiles number but Derek shakes his head, thanks him and leaves. He waits three days, assumes the Sheriff will tell his son about the abrupt visitor and then Stiles will show up in the loft but...its cowardly, he should find him, Stiles had reached out over a dozen times with no reply-

And Derek goes to the library.

He finds a space in the very back with the laptop he was loaned from the service desk and he opens his emails, goes to Stiles last message and hits the reply button.

He doesn't know if Stiles even checks his emails anymore, doesn't know if he'll even want to hear from Derek, doesn't know if he's simply wasting his time but he does know that Stiles deserves something, the knowledge? The chance? Anything, he also knows Stiles needs to get the fuck out of Beacon Hills. So he writes him.

A month in this god awful town feels like a year but Derek manages it, he manages to tough it out and wait the month he promised Stiles and then he drove out to the edge of town, to the sign that says Now Leaving Beacon Hills and he parked, got out and has been waiting for two hours. If he's honest, Derek will wait the entire day before he'll accept that as an answer and leave. He never checked his email again, he didn't run into Stiles (mostly on purpose, sometimes intentionally) and he'd held up to his word. Now though, he hated himself for making stupid promises in stupid emails and he fucking wishes-

"A fucking email Derek!"

Stiles voice is like the rainbow that comes out after the storm, its really fucking pretty but you know damn well that it is only just the beginning and you have a lot more to go. He hadn't seen the guy in almost two years and Stiles had changed, his shoulders and chest had filled in, he wasn't lanky as he was, his limbs didn't seem to hang on him and his face was fuller, and unclean like he hadn't shaven in two days. It was....appealing and Derek might have been tempted to-

"Earth to werewolf!" Stiles snapped, suddenly in Derek's face, he looks pissed and Derek really really wants to kiss the absolute snarling, rage off his mouth. "Are you even in there?"

"You're here," Derek manages like the idiot he feels like because Stiles is here, he  
_came_.

"Yes I'm here, I'm here to freaking yell at you, call you an idiot and... Derek, seriously, can you like act like you're being scolded?"

Derek doesn't know how he's acting but Stiles looks exhausted now and he just wants to hold him, keep him off his feet and-

"I swear to God," Stiles huffs and pushes into Derek's space, presses his lips to his and woah, there's his brain, it's back on now. "Fucking finally," Stiles growls and steps back.

"I'm sorry," Derek starts but Stiles holds up a hand to hush him. He goes silent.

"I read the email, I know and it's fine, it's okay but what is NOT okay? Telling me I have a fucking month to get out of the lease of my apartment, put in my notice at work, pack all my worldly possessions and some of us aren't you Derek! We own actual stuff we want to keep! And then tell all my friends and family I'm leaving!"

Stiles talks completely animatedly, his whole body helping to show how utterly exasperated he is with Derek.

"So you aren't going?" Derek swallows the lump that fills his throat, hates the way the idea of leaving without Stiles makes his heart beat funny.

"Not- Of course I'm fucking going!" He suddenly throws a surprisingly heavy duffel at Derek, who just manages to catch it and then he smirks. It's the smugness in Stiles eyes as he meets his that sends Derek forward, the duffel forgotten as he gets the younger man in his arms and kisses him. Stiles is smiling, arms locked around Derek's neck and the werewolf lifts him completely off the ground and spins until they stop kissing, both laughing.

"You really thought I wouldn't come?" Stiles eyes are alight with a happiness Derek hadn't seen in awhile.

"I thought I'd missed my chance," Derek admits as he carefully sets him down.

"In love since I was 17 dude, it wasn't going away just like that," he grins and Derek leans his forehead against his.

"I love you, Stiles."

There's a low applause and when Derek looks over the pack is all squashed into Stiles jeep, the guys are giving thumbs up or fist bumping and the girls are looking giddy. Derek's a little embarrassed but he figures he'll survive, as long as-

"They aren't going."

Stiles throws his head back and laughs, full on laughs and Derek can feel it across his body.

"They wanted to wish us well, sourwolf!"


	2. The Email

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's not epic, not some long confession but here you go.

_Stiles,_

_I didn't think to check this thing, I've been moving around a lot. I wish I had seen your emails sooner, I wasn't mad nor upset by what you almost said. I was surprised by what you wrote later and I want to tell you something but only if you want to hear it. I'm sorry I didn't see you graduate, I wish I'd been there for you, I would have come if I'd seen the email._

  
_Listen, in a month I'll be leaving, there are more packs to meet with, more connections for us to make and I'd like for you to come. No obligation, you don't need to reply, I'll wait at the sign and if you don't come then that's okay. But I hope that even if you don't, you leave Beacon Hills anyway._

  
_Derek_

 

  
Four years later Stiles and Derek moved back to California, a few hours outside of Beacon Hills, they raised a family, two hyper active girls and a boy who had Derek's eyes. When the Sheriff retired, he moved to a little house not far from them to be with his grandchildren. Scott and the pack frequently visited and they were as involved as ever but Beacon Hills and what they left behind was a distant memory.


End file.
